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JOMO (not FOMO), or the joy of missing out: how can you embrace this philosophy?
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JOMO (not FOMO), or the joy of missing out: how can you embrace this philosophy?

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JOMO, whose name sounds more like a board game or a failed Scrabble attempt, is actually the acronym for “Joy of Missing Out,” meaning in French “the joy of missing something.” You practice JOMO if you miss an event, a news item, or important information, the consequences do not affect you, and you do not worry about other people’s reactions or their judgment.

For example, people will say you are a JOMO enthusiast (phrased like that, it really does sound like a board game) if you do not go to an evening gathering with colleagues and are happy to stay home, cook, settle on your couch to read your favorite book, or simply relax. In this situation, you live at a slower pace, focus on the present moment, and practice “JOMO” without even knowing it (because true JOMO followers usually do not know this term)!

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Why was JOMO born?

To oppose FOMO

  • Strengthened by hyper-connectivity

    To explain the concept of JOMO, we felt it was important to recall the nature of its cousin: FOMO (= Fear of Missing Out), meaning “the fear of missing something.” It was first presented in 1996 by Dan Herman, a marketing expert who highlighted individuals’ anxiety about missing out on something. While this fear existed well before 1996, it quickly grew with the advent of social media, the development of apps, and the wealth of information made accessible on the Internet.

    A British study carried out by Tecmark on a panel of 2,000 people even revealed that they checked their smartphone an average of 221 times per day. A figure demonstrating the exaggerated and sustained use of smartphones by individuals and indirectly their addiction to these tools.

    This fear grows as our communication channels increase! See how differently we communicate and choose one channel over another depending on whether we are speaking with a colleague, a partner, a client, a friend, a family member, a spouse... Email, Instagram DM, WhatsApp message, SMS, call, voice message, Slack message... We are spoiled for choice.

  • Strengthened by the need for rewards

    Receiving likes, messages, and comments actually stimulates the secretion of dopamine: a hormone naturally produced in the human body during “immediate pleasure”. If many of us give in to a piece (or several pieces) of chocolate, it is because we know eating it gives us immediate well-being. The same mechanism is triggered in FOMO situations. Being so afraid of missing something, as soon as we receive much-awaited information, our brain sees it as a reward. We then secrete dopamine and want more again!

  • Strengthened by the need for rewards

    FOMO is based on social pressure. “I see that my manager sent me a message over the weekend. What if, by not reading the email, I miss useful information to start my week?”; “I see that a recruiter tried to reach me during my vacation. What if I let my chance pass by contacting them only a week later?”; “I see that a hot news item could become the subject of a team meeting. What if, by failing to report it, I miss an opportunity to engage my team?”

    Being afraid of missing something means imagining the worst situations that could happen if we acted a certain way. Most often, these are situations in which we might be judged poorly. In fact, being afraid of missing something means adopting a disadvantage-focused vision, focused on limits; in other words, wearing the black hat according to Edward de Bono’s theory. He represents 6 main ways of thinking with different colors. You can find more information on this in this article about lateral thinking.

To disconnect

  • By doing what we truly love

    In 2012, an American entrepreneur named Anil Dash used the notion of JOMO for the first time. This term, which syntactically resembles the FOMO acronym, differs from it by its first letter (with the J for “Joy”) which changes the meaning of the original expression FOMO.

    Concretely, JOMO encourages activities we truly enjoy, such as relaxing activities (reading, meditating, listening to music...), emotional ones (spending time with your children, talking with your best friend, visiting your parents...) sports (running, playing football, ...) or linked to personal passions (drawing, singing, playing guitar...). These are moments when we take time for ourselves and disconnect from information coming from outside. JOMO is a life philosophy focused on what is essential: ourselves!

  • By taking your time

    JOMO is the return to a lifestyle in which we take our time, enjoy the present moment, accept not replying to people around us down to the minute, and not being the first to know the latest news. JOMO is very close to “slow life”: a movement initiated in the 1980s promoting a slower pace of life. It gave birth, among other things, to “slow tourism,” “slow food,” and “slow cosmetics.” This concept praises slowness.


What actions can help you fully live JOMO?

Create disconnection habits

If you are used to living at a frantic pace, moving from a hectic lifestyle to full-on “JOMO” may be abrupt, because the contrast is so strong. To adopt it gently, the best approach is to put actions in place to gradually disconnect. You can start with a short period. For example, try: 2 hours of disconnection, 2 evenings per week. 2 hours, 2 evenings—easier to remember!

During these moments, you turn off all notifications, switch off your phone, or move away from your device. During this disconnection time, you do a calm activity that makes you feel good, and you immerse yourself in dim light. Then it is up to you to observe the effects of this new routine. How do you feel after these two hours of disconnection? Do you notice positive effects on your sleep quality? Do you see progress in your personal fulfillment? Do you want to reduce this disconnection rhythm or, on the contrary, increase it?

Adopt an “opportunity-oriented” vision

While reading this article, perhaps you perceive JOMO negatively because you consider it incompatible with your daily life or do not believe in its potential benefits? Or perhaps this lifestyle appeals to you because you see it as an opportunity to reconnect with yourself and be more serene?

Depending on the vision adopted, people form a more or less favorable opinion of JOMO. If we rely on Edward de Bono’s lateral thinking, a theory in which this cognitive science specialist presents six main ways of seeing the world, we could link appreciation (or not) of JOMO with the black or yellow hats. Indeed, to aid memorization of this concept, de Bono associates a color with each vision. Thus, he explains that when we wear a “black” hat, we focus on the limits and risks of a situation and think about the worst-case scenarios. Conversely, when we wear the “yellow” hat, we see the positive consequences in each situation and accept change more easily.

Do not be afraid of being alone with your thoughts

For some, JOMO can seem frightening in the sense that it pushes us to reconnect with ourselves: an exercise that may be more or less easy for some people. Moreover, for those who are not used to doing introspection, spending more time with oneself could unsettle some people who would perceive it as emptiness.

Intrapersonal intelligence, that is, the ability to know oneself, listen to one’s own needs and feelings, can be developed. The more we develop it, the more comfortable we feel and the more we enjoy being with ourselves. It is like sports: the hardest part is getting started!


The limits of full JOMO

Depending on your personal lifestyle or your work, full JOMO may be more or less suitable. You love the “Star Wars” saga and joined an association where all fans meet once a week to discuss their favorite topic. Going to group meetings without having seen all the films and their spin-offs could increase the risk of being spoiled!

Another example: you are a Community Manager for a major fashion brand and are not keeping up with Instagram algorithm updates or even the latest trends in the fashion world, you may run into trouble doing your job well. Still as a Community Manager: you scheduled your Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter posts two months in advance. However, an unpredictable news event makes the publication of your digital content, written two months earlier, inappropriate. If you are informed of the event early enough and react quickly, you can unschedule your posts (or postpone them) and create new ones adapted to the current context.

You are a casting director for films and have not attended theater plays in three years; perhaps you missed gems and the opportunity to recruit a very good actor. Does this mean it is impossible to be a casting director without going to the theater? No, but at least this action increases the chances of responding more precisely to directors’ requests. We are not claiming that success in one’s profession depends exclusively on deep knowledge of one’s field or mastery of its codes, but that gathering information can act as a real advantage.

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